Of course you don't understand women. Sometimes they can't even explain themselves. But often their secrets are universal, like these 21 things she wishes you knew.
By Laura Milne, "Men's Health"1. Please listen to me. Not because what I'm about to say will rock your world, but because listening is a sign of respect that rocks my world.
2. Women speak a different dialect than men. For example, "I'm fine" means "I'm so not fine," just as "No dessert for me" means "I'll be polishing off yours."
3. Remember, PMS stands for "physical and mental stress." So let me cry freely, behave irrationally, and eat your dessert. My mood swings are hormonal, not personal.
4. Manicures and pedicures are a woman's gift to her man. I love looking pretty for you. The time to worry is when I stop going for them.
5. Always tell me when I look hot; never tell me when I don't. And don't forget: I need 20 compliments to offset one thoughtless remark.
6. I remember the shirt you were wearing when you first said, "I love you." The fact that you don't makes me question whether you meant it.
7. I loved you long before I told you. Playing the long game is in a woman's DNA. We don't throw a Hail Mary in the first quarter. (And you thought we didn't know football.)
8. Of course you're the best lover I've ever had. All others cease to exist when I fall in love.
9. I'll never tell you my true number. Never, never, never! Besides, see #8.
10. I read your horoscope every day.
11. I secretly delight when the maitre d' slips up and calls us "Mr. and Mrs."
12. Yes, my girlfriend knows what we did last night. We share everything, including that.
13. Make me laugh and I'm happy. Laugh at yourself and I'm all yours.
14. A little jealousy is good if (a) no kneecaps are broken and (b) you don't cross-examine me to exhaustion. The right balance shows you care, and it's even flattering.
15. I don't withhold sex to punish you. Sometimes I just need to be left alone but, at the same time, not left alone. And no, I can't explain that.
16. You are irresistible: freshly showered, doing something sporty or strenuous, smiling, charming the old lady from the third floor, suited, reading the business section, DIY-ing ...
17. "Do you want flowers?" kills the romantic gesture. Don't ask, just do.
18. I'll probably be late — because I'm preening for you. At least that's how I reason. My reasoning skills are phenomenal!
19. If you cheat, I may not break up with you. But you'll wish I had.
20. I once kissed a girl and liked the taste of her cherry ChapStick. No, I didn't. That's your fantasy. Sincerely sorry.
21. I feel lucky to have you, and I hope you feel the same. You can't have it all unless you have someone to share it with.